Brownbeard

Pirate Book“Exciting science fiction and pirate adventure . . . wildly fantastical” – Georgia Library Quarterly

The first ever young adult selection by Atlanta NPR affiliate WABE-FM’s book show Between the Lines for its recommended reading list

“At only 99¢ on Kindle for some 96,000 words, I found the book to be about ten dollars overpriced.” – Cap’n Crabby Britches

And you can waste yer hard earned 99¢ just like Cap’n Crabby Britches and risk blowing up yer Kindle to boot! Just click here!

But what’s the ‘book’ about anyway? Well, Blackbeard the Pirate’s lesser-know, not-quite-as-successful cousin, Short Stubbly Brownbeard, leads a normal, boring life of respectability and social engagements. All of that changes one night while working late at the office. Brownbeard is attacked by a mob of angry numbers thirsty for the blood of a young accountant. Fearing for his mental balance, Brownbeard leaves his job to become a pirate.

With the aid of a dysfunctional but semi-competent crew, Brownbeard finds himself across the galaxy on the most ambitious pirate heist ever. In The Empire of Sa’Laam, with its miles high and miles deep towers, Brownbeard and crew hatch a wickedly devious plan to swindle The Emperor of his wealth. But in Sa’Laam, the game of Empire is for real – it’s played every night in front of millions of screaming fans – and it’s played for keeps.

If Brownbeard participates, he’ll have to face both the sinister truth behind the facade of Sa’Laam, and his own greed and complacency. But the truth will necessitate a fight to the death, requiring a courage and resolve which Brownbeard has never possessed. Can he win the game? Or will his first adventure as a pirate be his last?

Oh, surely it won’t be his last. Why, even as you read this, further installments of Brownbeard’s adventures are showing up on the walls of truck stop bathroom stalls and underneath isolated bridge overpasses all over America. Yes, faster than authorities can erase these vandalistic scribblings with pretensions towards piratical prose, more of this literary bilge water keeps appearing. So why don’t you kill a few brain cells – or lower yer kid’s IQ – and enjoy the cheap Kindle edition today? You’ll be sorry ye did! Arrrgggh!

Put In Yer 2₵

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