Raise the Pirate Flag! And the Prices!

Hey, guess what? It’ll soon be Banned Book Week! In celebration of this great event, I’m raising the price of my own book, banned throughout the Galaxy and wherever intelligent life is found – The Adventures of Short Stubbly Brownbeard!

Why you ask? Simple psychology.

They say people value things they pay a bit more for. There is a perception that the added price reflects added value. Well, why shouldn’t people pay a bit more for extraordinary, or even semi-extraordinary, crap? I think they should, just so they know how crappy their purchase was. Right? It works for Donald Trump and his line of cologne, ties and clothing, bottled spring water, books, etc. So, I’m raising the price of my worst-selling book to $4.99! And it comes complete with an advertising campaign slogan…

More Expensive. Still The Same Crap. Buy now. Daddy needs new underwear.

Brownbeard

 

Trump Is No Chump

Trump

Some say Donald Trump is a chump,

‘Neath the hair he’s sharp like a stump,

Yet the polls he’s atop,

His momentum won’t stop,

Other candidates incredulously grump.

 

Bush, Fiorina, Carson, Cruz…    

Thought there’s no way they could lose,

Stuck to a script, played it safe

Voters’ ears they tire and chafe,

While Donald appeals to reds – and some blues!

 

Trump said he will get us a wall,

Mexican built, one-hundred feet tall,

Jobs’ll appear by waving a hand,

Thoughts so incredibly grand,

The economy, like his Tower, never’ll fall.

 

Yes, Trump appears to be best,

Were he stock in him I’d invest,

It’s so plain to see,

He will trounce Hillary,

With some help from VP Kanye West!